Blemishes of a little girl

Today is saturday, which can means ministry time, a day when I set aside my time to serve in the house of God.
To make myself useful, I help out as a teacher in Harvest Kids.
Bringing kids from their homes to church, take care of them during service, waiting for them to end tuition, making sure there are no lost sheeps, and other miscellenous things to do is part of my weekly saturday routine.

During service, this girl from my bus, took her bible (pointed at Matthew 19) and asked me to explain about what the bible speaks about divorce.
Then I was thinking in my head “Why does a little primary 2 girl ask about such things?”
So I read the verse, and I had to make sure that I put it in the right words.
While explaining to her, I found out that her Dad has committed adultry.

“My parents are divorced.” and “My Dad has 4 other women”

I was heartbroken when I heard it, those words she said lingering in my head.
It’s really sad to hear a young girl having to know and experience such things.
I ended off by telling her that it is ok if her mum finds someone better who loves her.
Letting know its ok till she’s reassured. 🙂
I really thank God that at least she is in church & has a support system to help her whenever she needs.
At least she knows of someone who loves her more then anything in this world, Jesus.
So we can be reassured that she’s protected and in good hands. 🙂

Have a great attitude :)

Pastor Phil Pringle- Attitude
Always have a great attitude.
Always find humour in everything, see the funny side.
The more you have God encounters, the more Christ like you will be.
There are always attitudes that always creep up to you.

You are going to rise to the attitude you have.
Even when people are dumping on you, that’s when you know how strong are you, guarding your attitude.
Whatever dirt that is dumped on you, shake it off, you can use them to climb higher in life.
Your attitude is going to be on your reaction.
It is going to let you live or die.
When Jesus was reviled, and hated and persecuted, he returned with honey. He didn’t become sour, threats and arguments, He didn’t let them get to him.
Don’t let anyone bring you down to their level by responding to their attitude that they are sending your way.
Be baptised in the holy attitude and Holy Spirit.
You are a separate person, you have a different attitude, and you are like a light in the darkness. People will think how come you are so peaceful in a crisis, have a holy attitude.
Every part of your life comes out of your attitude.

Your attitude is going to spread, it is contagious.
A group having an electric shock were measured in their brainwaves; people watching are also having the same trepidations. Emotions are contagious.
It’s not about how many people, but it’s about the courage and faith that we have.
Proverbs 25 & 28
You never want to let anger off the leash.
To have the ability to rule over your attitude
When Jesus was on the cross, he was thinking about His mother. He was still filled with grace and peace under the worst pressure. He wasn’t returning the same amount of attitude that was coming his way. Blessing those who are cursing Him.

One element to a great attitude
Willing hearted: The willing hearted, nothing is too hard for them. You don’t have to drag them in life and find excuses. When you got an unwilling attitude, you will feel that you cannot get on the same page as everybody else in life. It’s always like I’m not sure about coming along, I’m not sure about being here or doing that. The willing always has solutions.
When you are willing hearted, you don’t know how you can, we do what we can. Even when you are not that keen of doing what I’m being asked to do, that’s when I can rule my spirit and say I’m going to do. You don’t know how willing you are to serve God until you are asked to do something you don’t really want to do. When you can see a reason to change your attitude.
You can rule over your spirit, smile, get yourself baptised from the Holy Spirit.

life’s a drama

I feel that life is a drama.
Because things keep cropping up so dramatically, unexpected dramas so happen one after another.
Thank God i have time to breathe for a while, and when i though everything is better and peaceful again, another thing crops up again.
Life’s complicated~

once a trust is broken, it’s hard to fix it again.
And even if you do, it’ll never be the same again.

I’ve been behaving like a emotional girl with difficulty with making decisions.
omg, hate it, but i can’t help it..
Have been on this rollercoaster of life.
Things change, so does a man’s heart.
The only constant is change.

I keep falling,
keep falling..
having to come up every single time, bruised and scarred.
well, that’s life,
i have to move on,
just like everyone else.
The only thing is to be happy,
and wait for wounds to heal.
I don’t know why,
i shall hold onto my hope that is God still loves me. right? He does right? I’m sure he does.. He does.
I’m His girl.
It’s been imprinted on my heart, that’s what keeps me living.

🙂

i just need to protect myself again

Cell group meeting was great today, Chiewy prayed for me and it’s true for me. She shared about me closing up and hardening my heart because i needed to protect myself, and that i got to open up. I don’t know why, I find it hard to do so. I admit, i have been closing up heart again because its just an automatic thing for me to do. I feel that being open makes me vulnerable to things and sometimes i get way too sensitive about things. Others hurt me, especially the ones i love.. I somehow feel that nobody is there to protect me.. i needed to protect myself. Am i being self-centered? 

just a little poem

 

The girl she used to be,

so quiet and shy.

People never knew why…

a little girl had so much to hide.

They never knew the secrets she kept,

neither did they know,

the struggles she fights.

All the time, she longed for the courage to speak out what she felt,

and longed to feel the security that every human needs.

The walls in her heart were built up way so high, 

that it made it almost impossible for her to speak.

All the time,

she kept everything inside.

All the feelings and hurts,

were bottled so deep..

that people thought, “it’s impossible to reach”.

But just because it’s far,

doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Because one fine day, 

she went to church,

and befriended a man called, Holy Spirit.

She never knew this friend she made,

would be able to break down the walls in her heart,

brick by brick.

He stayed faithful no matter what,

and always kept her safe and sound.

There are times when things don’t go according to plan,

and she’ll get real upset and mad. 

But He understands her perfectly well,

as He’d been through living hell.

He’d reassure her of his love,

and be the best-est friend on earth.

I know this poem may sound a little cheesy,

but I know He loves her til the ends of the earth.

 

 

joy will come in the morning

The reason I’m up at 2am is cause I can’t fall asleep.
Honestly, my head hurts from all that crying.

Today was a pleasant day, I got to meet up my poly friend, Rachel, for lunch today. Haven’t saw her since the holidays started. So was happy that i finally got to meet her up. The meet up was pretty short but was great catching up time. We were talking about how we spent our holidays and all.. and yea, i decided to attempt baking a rainbow cake before school semester starts. Have been thinking of doing that for a long time and after watching the cool youtube video on how to make a “little pony rainbow cake”, I’m once again inspired to try it.

No worries I’m fine,
healing may come through tears.

I lift my hands

Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are fortress for the weak

Let faith arise
Let faith arise

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary’s tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me

Let faith arise
Let faith arise

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

Let faith arise, let faith arise
Open my eyes, open my eyes
Let faith arise, let faith arise
Open my eyes, open my eyes

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

And I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever

Let faith arise
Let faith arise

Bring me to love again

 

 

 

No matter what you are going through, always remember to look at the beauty of it.

Your mind will keep your thoughts running wild, and it may discourage you.. as it reminds you of who you are, what you have gone through, and worst of all, what you are going through right now. 

For me, things aren’t exactly smooth sailing, and life is like that.. Just have to accept it and make the best out of everything I have. I have to learn to look at things in another perspective, I have to make a decision to look at the beauty of life. That is when I find myself at peace. When I choose not to think about what others may feel, when I stop myself from thinking negatively. When I stop looking down at where I am standing right now, and look up to God. When I come to tell myself it’s time to surrender to God. It may be tough, I have times when i feel insecure about myself, times when I feel that I am not good enough. But that happens when I tend to over think too much, when I unconsciously let my mind run freely. At the end of the day, I know deep down in my heart who I am in Christ and how much He loves me. I am so thankful that He is the only one who is there for me, never forsaking me even though I might have let Him down countless times. I know in my heart that he is there, when His peace washes over me, peace that surpasses all understanding. It’s true, there is really such a peace, and it can only be found in Him. His peace takes away all my insecurities. 

What can i say about Him, I love Him so. 

I am amazed at how he makes all thing so beautiful.

 

My prayer for today: Dear Lord, I pray that You heal all the broken hearted,  mend those whose hearts have been broken so that they can learn to forgive each other. I pray that you will place forgiveness in their hearts so that they will learn how to trust and love again. I pray that You will do the same for me too. I love you. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

 

secrets

Had a great time spending time with Pj and vaness today, having some heart to heart talk. 🙂 Confessed something that I feel so silly abt.. it doesnt matter because I have learnt how to control my heart, and not feel as much as one normally would. I’m not trying to be supergirl, just needa guard my heart. 

2 Chronicles 16:9 (NIV),

“For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him”

Strength, to keep on staying strong through the storms.

God will bend us, but never break us.

Keep the faith, stay together strong during this time.

It’s comforting to know that God is there for us no matter what.

To be able to take refuge in his place, my secret place.

When i think of you, my heart squeals, it squeezes, leaving me feel a warm fuzzy feeling inside of me.

It’s always a happy thing to know that you are in my life, and that i can rely on you no matter what.

Thank God for God.

I love you.

God, hold me close to your heart, and never let me go.